In
today’s society, the relationship between boys and girls vary. The way
boys relate with others is different from the way girls relate with
other people. I will discuss the differences and similarities between
boys and girls when it comes to relating with each other.
According
to my observation, it has come to my notice that boys tend to be more
confrontational, whilst girls are better at language, using words to
explore and substitute for emotional reactions; such as physical fights.
This is unlike boys, who prefer to express their feelings physically. A
good example of this is the case of my little cousins; a boy and a
girl. Everyone knows it is a normal thing for brother and sister to have
misunderstandings and disagreements sometimes. When my little cousins
have an argument, the girl is quick to express her feelings with words
like; “I don’t like what you are doing”, “Stop it! It’s not right”,
“You’re going to get into trouble”, and so on. On the other hand, the
boy gets angry and is quick to slap or punch her. These are children
between the ages of 4 and 5.
My
second point is focusing on the fact that boys play in larger groups
with an emphasis on competition, whilst girls play in small intimate
groups with an emphasis on minimising hostility and maximising
cooperation. During
my study in college, the boys in my school were used to playing the
game of football. As we all know, this game is a game that involves a
lot of people divided into two separate teams. Therefore, this
practically means; there has to be a winning team. This is what brings
up the issue of competition; the two teams want to win, no one wants to
lose; so they have no other choice than to compete for the reward or
fame.
On
the other hand, the girls moved together in small cliques, just to
avoid issues like competition or envy. They hang out with people they
can tolerate, so as to avoid frequent disagreements and hostility, as
well as enhancing cooperation with one another. They believe that the
smaller they are in groups; there will be fewer disagreements with one
another. Disagreements between lots of people can cause a conflict,
whilst a disagreement between a few can easily be resolved.
The
interesting similarity between men and women is that; at the early
stage of their relationship, both men and women prefer to talk about
each other’s emotions and personalities, that is; their likes and
dislikes. This
is because they are just getting to know each other, but as the
relationship grows deeper and older; the men tend to withdraw from the
emotional discussions. My
older cousin is a very good example of this point, even though she’s
now married to someone better; when she started dating this particular
guy, at first, things were rosy in the relationship. She would come home
to tell me about how close she and her boyfriend are, how they used to
tell each other how they felt, and so on. As
their relationship was growing, she started complaining; telling me
that he had changed, that he never used to behave this funny when they
started their relationship. She also complained about his withdrawal
from emotional responsibilities. I have observed that most men do this,
because they are scared of marriage (lifetime committment) and paternal
responsibility. They believe that once they are married, they are in
lifetime bondage, so they tend to withdraw from the relationship and
keep running until they realise they have to face their fears and be the
men they truly are. This might be too late as they might loose a
wonderful life partner that was actually destined by God for them.
Fourthly,
there is also the fact that most men are slow in bringing up problems
in a relationship, whilst most women are quick in bringing up problems.
Women are more emotional and cannot keep things in mind for too long;
they prefer to blurt out their feelings quickly, just to take it off
their mind. They
care more about their relationships than men; men are less concerned
about bringing up problems, they prefer to keep things in mind till they
cannot take it any longer. An example is that of my experience with an
old friend of mine of the opposite sex; anytime he offended me or did
something I didn’t like, I was quick to tell him how I felt or that what
he did was wrong. On
the other hand, he was totally different; he didn’t tell me when I
offended him, all he did was to look at me and held it against me. This
was not right; things like this caused little disagreements between the
two of us. I was always the one talking and telling him let me know when
I offended him. As friends, we are supposed to tell each other how we
feel, regardless of how any one of us might take it. Nowadays, the
tables have turned to an extent; most guys express their feelings now,
which is good. As I would say; "a mirror will tell you the truth, and so
will a true friend."
Lastly,
women are more sensitive to a sad expression on a man’s face than are
men in detecting sadness from a woman’s expression or face. As discussed
earlier, women are more emotional than men, so they tend to notice
little things like facial expressions.They
can easily detect when someone is sad, happy, nervous, or excited;
unlike men, who are not too good at detecting facial expressions. A man
only knows how a woman feels if she tells him or breaks down in tears;
it is rare for a man to notice sadness on a woman’s face. An example of
this is the case of my friend and her boyfriend; anytime she’s sad, she
pulls a long face that is very obvious to all, but her boyfriend doesn’t
notice it. All he does is to joke and play with her and act as though
there’s nothing wrong.The
only time he knows what is bothering her, is when I tell him or when
she starts crying. This is quite unfair, because she is quick to notice
an expression of sadness on his face and doesn’t waste time to ask him
what is on his mind. Women are more matured when it comes to emotions,
feelings, and expressions than are men.
According
to all I discussed earlier, women are emotionally different from men
when it comes to relationships. They also have some similarities like;
both the boy and girl like to be in charge of the relationship. They
both want to have the final say in their decisions, which could cause
disagreements between the two of them. Another similarity is the fact
that both men and women like to be pampered once in a while in their
relationships. The most interesting similarity I recently discovered, is
the fact that at the age of ten, roughly the same percentage of girls
as boys are overly aggressive, given to open confrontation when angered.
This changes as they grow older; the aggressive attitude stays with the
boys, but this same aggressive attitude leaves the girls.
As
earlier discussed; boys are more confrontational, whilst girls are
better at language, using words to explore and substitute for emotional
reactions such as physical fights. These
changes take place in girls as they grow older than the age of ten, but
children of nowadays, mature faster than expected. It has come to my
notice that children, especially girls; begin to develop these mature
traits between the ages of 5 and 7.
In my opinion, I would say that this boy/girl relationship is an
emotional roller coaster because; at times, it could be confusing,
trying to understand each other’s emotions and feelings could cause
arguments and little misunderstandings. Therefore, I would say
that the arguments, misunderstandings and the latter resolving of
issues, stand for the emotional roller coaster, because there are ups
and downs in every relationship; precisely the same way a roller coaster
moves up and down and down and up and down and up and down... Lol...
What an exciting, and challenging experience!!! 
